Ptotle the Pturd
Ptolemy was not an astrologer. The fact that he wrote a book on astrology does not make him an astrologer. If we were to follow that illogical line of thinking, then we must say Michael Crichton was a paleo-archaeologist since he wrote Jurassic Park and Tom Clancy was a soldier since he wrote Red Storm Rising and Ann Rice was a vampire since she wrote books about vampires. None of those are true.
Since Ptolemy saw fit to fabricate his own data as well as data from other authors and other cultures, we see no reason not to make up a new name for Ptolemy so we lovingly refer to him as “Ptotle.” It’s a combination of Ptolemy and Aristotle (one of our other least favorite people) since Ptotle relied heavily on the Aristotelian view to craft his poison.
Scholars lament the loss of ancient works about astronomy, geography, cartology, mathematics, optics and other disciplines. We think Ptotle purposely destroyed many of those works after extracting the information he wanted from them. It is certainly within Ptotle’s character and his skill-set: a man who lied, cheated, committed fraud, fabricated his own data as well as the data of others. Destroying those works serves two purposes. It hides Ptotle’s plagiarism and it makes it difficult for people to form a basis to challenge or repudiate Ptotle’s theories (and most of them were wrong). One big giant clue Ptotle may have destroyed those works is they’re not quote after Ptotle’s wretched life on this Earth.
Astrology is based on Platonic and Stoic principles, especially those related to Form & Matter and Space & Time. Ptotle attempted to crow-bar astrology into the Aristotelian view by a systematic reform of the basic principles of astrology in order to support his inane theories of astronomy. Stephan Heilen makes the point succinctly:
Ptolemy also attempted to place astrology on a sound basis by revising the details to reconcile the practice with the Aristotelian view of nature, matter, and change driven by the interplay of the basic qualities such as hot, cold, wet, and dry.
Heilen is not an astrologer. How is it he can see through Ptotle’s deception but astrologers cannot?
We still suffer from Ptotle’s malign influence. That being said, please excuse us while we get our barf bags because we’re going to have to defend Ptotle.
Ptotle said the year begins with Aries. That wasn’t true. The year always began on the last New Moon before the Spring Equinox. However, it is not our fault that stupid people misinterpreted what Ptotle said as, “Cast an Aries Ingress Chart for a country to see what happens to it.” When you see people casting Aries Ingress Charts that’s your first clue those people have no clue.
A misinterpretation of Ptotle’s statement is also why moronic Modern astrologer falsely believe Aries is the first sign and therefore Aries is the “natural sign” of the 1st House and Mars is the “natural ruler.” No such things as natural signs or natural rulers. We can’t totally blame moronic Modern astrologers for that since the retarded Renaissance astrologers were the first to claim that Libra was the natural sign of the 3rd House and Mars the natural ruler. It makes one wonder what kind of opium they were smoking to come up with that logic. Now that we think about it, calling Renaissance astrologers retarded is an insult to retarded people so we’ll refer to them as ignoramuses.
Our house; our rules. No Ptotle. If you want to disparage Ptotle, we’ll gladly help you. But if you come here to extol the virtues of Ptotle, which are what exactly? Lying, cheating, committing fraud, plagiarizing, fabricating data? Well, we will hammer you. Mercilessly.
A wise man once said war is coming. Make sure you’re on the right side.
All of our evidence is presented in these articles:
Ptolemy the Incompetent Astronomer
Ptolemy’s Astronomical Fabrications